For Immediate Release
Spud Cycle, CCO GiddieUp Solutions
spud@giddieup.com

GiddieUp Solutions Offers
Low-tech Internet Solution

Cyberspace, Wi -- 07/12/1998 -- Since the introduction of Ask Sparky, Sparky has received many questions. This is one of our earliest questions where a solution was provided. Sparky is great with both new and old technology. Sometimes you have to do with what you have.

I own an Apple IIci. Can I get on the Internet?

Sure, why not? If this is the system I think it is, you ought to be able to attach a modem to the serial port, install some software form your ISP, and get on just fine. The computer I am thinking of has the following basic specs:

System
Introduced: 9/20/89 Discontinued: 2/10/93
Floppy Size: 1.44MB Internal HD: 40-80MB SCSI
Upgrade From: IIcx Upgrade To: Q700 Form Factor: IIcx Weight: 13.6 lbs.
Logic Board
Main processor: 25 MHz 68030 pMMU: integrated FpU: 68882 Data path: 25 MHz 32-bit
Secondary processor: none
Slots: 3 NuBus, 1 cache
Memory
Memory on Logic Board: none RAM Range: 1MB to 128MB (8Mb standard??)
RAM Slots: 8 30-pin SIMM
RAM Type: 80 ns 256K, 512K, 1, 2, 4, 16MB SIMMs in groups of 4
Video
Built-in Display: none VRAM Configuration: 1MB DRAM
VRAM Speed: n/a VRAM Expansion: built in
Color Bit Depth by Screen Resolution: 512x384: 8-bit 640x480: 8-bit
640x870: 4-bit 1-bit = Black & White, 2-bit = 4 colors, 4-bit = 16 colors, 8-bit = 256 colors, 16-bit = thousands, 24-bit = millions. The maximum color depth listed for 640x870 is 8-bit, reflecting the capabilities of the Apple 15 inch portrait Display. Notes: 64K-320K of system DRAM are used for video.
Sound
Sound In: none
Sound Out: stereo, 8-bit Microphone port: none
ports
ADB: 2 Video: DB-15 Floppy: DB-19 SCSI: DB-25
Geoports: Ethernet: none Microphone port Type: none
ports: printer Modem Speaker

Heck, you are probably using that computer right now to access your HotMail e-mail account, aren't you. Just a point of note though, Apples and MACs are not Sparky's area of expertise. The only Apple Sparky really cares about are the nice, tart red ones grown in Door County.

Is there a built-in modem on my machine?

Does not look like the factory model would have shipped with one, but anything is possible.

If my system is running really slow, is it because I have too much work to do?

Sparky wonders if it is not because you are too focused on work. Slow and fast is all a matter of perception, like hot and cold, tall and short, etc. We sometimes have both our perceptions and our priorities out of focus on what is really important. Here is a philosophical thought for you:

These days Octavian Ion
The world alas has lost itself
And life has lost its meaning too
As autumns withered leafs away
So have our spirits gone astray
Nothing that's left is true

Streams of oil torment the lakes
And poisoned fumes consume the air
But through the ashes and the dust
We ride our vehicles of lust
And no one seems to care.

I am desperate for help.

The vanity of existence Octavian Ion
It was a time of sorrow
That cold December night
The frown of winter conquered
All faces within sight

The sky was made of steel
The Earth was made of clay
The moon lonely as ever
Above the clouds would stray

Within my dying chamber
I stood and watched the night
When through the open window
My consciousness took flight

I dreamt at first of childhood
The tranquil days which past
The days of lazy summers
Watching the sky, so vast

I dreamt the idle splendour
Of plains covered with flowers
The early days of spring
Those warm nostalgic showers

But then the clouds collapsed
Upon the plains below, exposed
And all the waters froze
In crystal spheres enclosed

Through the sky nothing could fly
The wind more swiftly blew
And trees were pulled with roots attached
As the mayhem exceedingly grew

Amidst all this havoc and slaughter
I stood at a distance, full of freight
And watched the sky open at once
Swallowing everything in sight

Then all was quiet once again
An empty world around remained
The sky was steel, the Earth was clay
An empty world around remained.

i have risen...(with wings) paolo palazzi-Xirinachs

There is one question i have to ask, is there a place for the hopeless sinner who has hurt all mankind just to save his home?... There is no hiding place from the power of creation.

Bob Marley --One Love

my dog came through the pine woods dragging
the remains of an old dead fox--dry ribs and spine
and a tail with a splendor of fur still on it.
"where did you find this, girl?" i said to her.
she wagged her tail and showed me.
and there, alas poor Yorick!, there was the skull
and there were the leg bones and shoulder blades.

so i took them home, soaked them in lye
'til they were almost translucent and antiseptic
and put them on a display shelf to admire--
the figure eight of the pelvis, and the milky miniature helmet.

sometimes tucked away in the peast-pocket of the pines
amidst a gentle rain of starlight, an owl hunches
in the dense needles, and coughs up his pellet
the vole or the mouse recently eaten.
the pellets fall through panches, through the hair of the grass;

dark flowers of fur, a salt of bones and teeth, melting away...

in Washington, deep inside the bowels
of metal buildings of glass & stone
down long aisles and secreted inside wide drawers
are the bones of women and children, and bones of very, very

old warriors. whole skeletons, parts of skeletons.
they can't get up; for they can't fall down.
as chalk white as pieces of the moon--stripped of essence,
laid mute, catalogued--
they lie forever alone in anonymous drawers.

so it didn't take long, i could see how it was
and where i was headed.

i took what was left of the noble beast off the shelf

and back to the pine woods where it belonged
rubbed it with some twigs and leaves and a little pile of dung i found
and buried it with the emotional fanfare of a Viking funeral;

i don't even remember where.

but i do remember this, though--how i felt.
if i had wings i would have unfurled them toward the sun.

i would have risen from the ground and soared...

Again, Sparky says thank you for the question and wishes you the best in your Internet journeys. He also wnats to leave you with a question to ponder.

Are our lives real, or are we just pains in a vat dreaming that we are people with 'real' lives?

---

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