WELCOME TO GIDDIEUP SOLUTIONS

     (sorry only our sales pitch is in text only format)



     GiddieUp Solutions Suite is an

     Enterprise-wide software solution created by

     UP.U. ARSS Enterprise. A small company based out

     of BumnFuch, Egypt, it thrives on the

     incompetence of others. From World Wide Web

     fuchups, special breaches to security, network

     "on-the-fly" fixes, automatic reconfiguration of

     hardware to interfaces with anything, GiddieUp

     Solutions CAN FIX IT ALL! 



      PRESS RELEASES

      May 22, 1998 - GiddieUp Solutions is Formed!

      Jul 12, 1998 - GiddieUp Offers Low-tech Internet Solution.

      Jul 15, 1998 - Other Questions are Answered

      Aug 19, 1998 - Bob Smith, Cowboy Bob Dies

      Sept 22, 1998 - GiddieUp IPO is On Hold

      Nov 26, 1998 - GiddieUp Moves On...

      Dec 30, 1998 - Sparky Says Newsletter Introduced.





     NEW:     Join the Sparky Says mailing list.

 

     Believe it or not, GiddieUp Solutions can talk to

     IMS, IDMS, CICS, UNIX, DOS, WINDOWS,

     SYBASE, ORACLE, MS SQL, MAPI 16, 32, (and

     the upcoming 64), RAS, CTI, and that's just a

     few. 



     And that's not all! 



     This new Suite of services works great over

     practically any type of communications line. We

     even perform well over a 1200 baud analog line.

     We'll show you! 



     And Add-In's we've got!



     We've got Call Center, Network Admin,

     Messaging, Web Server, DB Server,

     Comm Server, Security, Marketing, HR,

     CNC Link, MRP, Shop Floor,

     Scheduling, Payroll, and the list goes

     on… Hell, we can even automate your

     Operations department and eliminate

     90% of the people! 



     Be the Hero! 



     Trust Us! We can make you look like

     the hero when you know absolutely

     diddly squat! Promise them anything

     and give them GiddieUp Solutions

     Suite v.1.0. You get the complete Suite

     for only $4,999,999.95 (serious

     inquiries only). And for the small price

     of $1,999,999.95 we will share with you

     our special patented strategic 3 day

     implementation plan. This may even get

     you a promotion! "Shit! I didn't know my

     ass from a hole in the ground and now

     I'm CIO of the company after putting in

     GiddieUp…", says Guido Bologna of a

     Fortune 500 manufacturing company. 



     Call us now at 1-900-GiddieUp or

     E-mail our sales department at

     Sales@giddieup.com to reserve your

     special appointment to view the

     Ultimate "Bail your ass out of trouble"

     software. We will meticulously simulate

     your environment in our Test Lab and

     show you how fast and seamlessly this

     system integrates into your company. 



        Remember, promise them

                 anything, 

         but give them GiddieUp! 



     Special Bonus 



     Free for no charge, we offer you a host

     of Sample Solutions. Also, now for the

     first time we make available our

     Collector's Edition. See the people

     that made this just for you, our

     Company Officers and Row 2 Team.

     And, don't forget to visit our

     inspirational Row 2 Team Building

     Page. 



     Technical Information 



     We have included a text only version of

     this page to be compatible with all

     platforms. Otherwise you will need a

     browser. Doesn't matter what kind. We

     are not bias to Netscape or Internet

     Explorer. Even though the Evil Empire

     will dominate. If you are not using a

     browser all you will see is a bunch of

     html code. It isn't pretty. 



     The letters in GIDDIE mean something.

     Of course the UP is obvious. If it wasn't

     an acronym, it wouldn't be worth

     anything. Most people wouldn't

     understand what it means so just

     believe it's an acronym and you should

     be assured that the acronym is in your

     best interest.